EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

EMOTIONS AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT CHAPTER 9

I want to thank you for coming

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Two emotions we come with

Psychologist believe in the top of our brain stem, the emotions of grief and panic exist once we are born

 

We all start out with the same emotions!

1.You get to work, happy settle in after your first meeting you start to feel anxious, maybe even negative —what happened to change your mood?

 

2. Changes are you have picked up an emotional state from one of your co-workers which has signaled something is wrong – like the good little warning beckon we are – we too feel and send out that message.

 

3. Are there people who feel more sad or negative during the day

 

4. Simply enough are you breathing? If you were to really listen in meeting you will be able to identify those people who are holding their breath or shallow breathing –

 

Sound like this – a sudden quiet intake of breath – or people who seem almost breathless when they are speaking to you —–

 

You have to remember this is a universal sign of danger for humans – and if you are not aware you too will minic their breathing and feel anxious

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Development of our emotions

 

1. Hard wired emotions in the limbic brain – Panic and grief – shared by all mammals.

 

2. 6 months of age we begin to develop seven other emotions such as joy, disgust, fear, surprise, anger, sadness, worry – true of all humans

 

3. Amygdala recorder – Calm Family, dramatic, abusive – can be self protective.

 

4. Development of frontal lobes develop what we call our higher thought. Our reasoning portion of the brain will become to interact with our emotions – Verifying and acknowledging each other.

 

5. Why play becomes important, especially as we step out of our own family environment – expands our understanding of how we express our emotions.

 

6. Default emotional expression will be the patterns we establish early – as we get older We can change those patterns by making a conscious decision to change.

We step out of our immediate family environment we begin to adjust our emotional reactions – What’s proper behavior in our house, may not be in school, or at our friend;s house

 

 

 

Expression in learned early

There are the theories

 

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The frontal lobe (the higher mind), is the most evolved part of the brain – capable of advanced reasoning.

 

 

 

And capable of advanced emotional evaluation

 

and emotional reflection, diversity, repression

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  • The primitive limbic brain helped early man survive
  • Awareness of threats to survival

 

Our basic emotions are hard-wired into the limbic brain – panic and grief

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Our first response – look for what threatens us!

We often look for the negative because that’s

how we learned to survive

The primitive brain likes patterns

80% of the time our brain is looking for what threatens us.

Like primitive man walking through the forest finding another human – decision friend or foe.

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When we feel challenged……!

Fight or flight response is activated

 

Our challenges are not like early man, yet our reactions when we feel or perceive to be threatened can be.

 

Fight/flight – activation – our breathing becomes shallow, muscles tense, heart beat exceralted – we are ready for some type of action.

 

We are designed to stay in this state for a short period of time.

 

And the longer we are in this state…..

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Emotions out of control!

 

The result can be poorly managed emotions…..

 

…making a smart person appear less smart!

 

 

 

Well let’s just say our emotional responses run amok under extreme stress and sometimes the results get us into trouble.

 

Nick and running the construction zone. Increasingly was having emotional outbursts in the office, effecting support staff in a very negative way.

 

Unfortunatly no one intervened on his behavior, one afternoon while driving to a client’s office he refused to follow the directions of a road construction supervisor. And nearly hit the guy with his car.

 

Let’s just say, you never want to see the mug shot one of your employees on the evening news

 

This behavior sometimes referred to as an amygalda hijack. Remember our thinking and primitive work our programmed to work together.

 

Prolonged stress starts to cut off the thinking portion, we become reactive.

 

Another example mom and child along the river – can’t remember jumping in and after the fact goes wait I can’t swim

 

 

Joke about the uber passinger

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People can hijack our emotions

DILBERT – GREAT REFLECTION ON OUR WORKPLACE

 

Toxic people challenge our system and we need to be aware of who makes us feel bad and who makes us feel good.

 

And for those who make us feel bad we need to realize on some level that is their goal —–and that doesn’t mean we need to play with them.

 

If it they are directly working with us —we need to remember we still choose how to react to them

CHALLENGE TO THE SYSTEM, OUR PRIMITIVE BRAIN

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Unaware, we catch each other’s emotional state

Our breath, your breath

 

Always keep in mind the power of breathing!

 

Ok I know I am starting to sound like a yoga teacher,

When we are in fear – shallow, rapid breathing starts

Signaling the primitive brain our system is threatened

When we engage in controlled breathing we tell our brain –
its okay, we’re ok

And it tells others around us that they are safe,

 

Take a moment evaluate what is your breathing pattern?

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Reactive or proactive, am I in control?

How do you want to feel 10 minutes from now?

 

Avoid an amygdala hijack!

 

What helps us to balance and will work together=

 

—–They need to work together to create balanced reactions and responses

 

Most of the time

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What is Emotional Intelligence?

 

Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and your relationships.

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

 

Recognize, understand – emotions –

Yours, others

 

Being aware – manage your behavior and relationships

 

Seems simple enough OK did you get it?

Let’s break it down

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The four Core Skills

Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Drs. Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves

Seems simple enough, but remember our brain doesn’t necessarily like to change –

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How aware am I?

Self Awareness

What/ who makes me happy, sad or angry?

What emotion am I feeling this moment?

Aware of how I feel and I can describe the emotion

People high in EI allow themselves the luxury and I do mean that word of stepping back, send yourself 10 minutes into the future —how do I want me, this situation the other person to feel 10 minutes from now?

 

Try the words – I’ll think about it —-that’s tougher and tougher in a world where the expectation is NOW. But the fact is when we respond in haste many times we create more problems, then if we take some time to think about it.

 

Example Daughter’s idea and I’ll think about it

 

What do I want to create resolution or conflict? The world is suffering from polarization – my way – those who can take others with them are the ones being recognized as leaders, whether they are in leadership or not.

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What’s my level of self control?

Self Management

Ask yourself “Why am I feeling this way?”

Take a step back from reacting -“I need to think about this”

Reflection
Projection into the future
Choose a positive outcome

People high in EI allow themselves the luxury and I do mean that word of stepping back, send yourself 10 minutes into the future —how do I want me, this situation the other person to feel 10 minutes from now?

 

Try the words – I’ll think about it —-that’s tougher and tougher in a world where the expectation is NOW. But the fact is when we respond in haste many times we create more problems, then if we take some time to think about it.

 

Example Daughter’s idea and I’ll think about it

 

What do I want to create resolution or conflict? The world is suffering from polarization – my way – those who can take others with them are the ones being recognized as leaders, whether they are in leadership or not.

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What are others thinking and feeling?

Social Awareness

 

Listen with your eyes as well as ears

 

Widen your perspective – why do others feel differently than you do

 

Who makes you feel uncomfortable/who makes you feel safe?

In my class when we talk about emotions I’ll take this example for them.

 

I love you. The intent of the words, the body language may give us hints of inconsistency.

 

To safe yourself from wear/tear be careful of the toxic person – don’t let them hijack your emotional state

 

Dilbert is next.

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Build solid relationships

Relationship Management

 

Speak to the person directly, especially if you think

there is a problem.

Are you taking things personally?

Find the high road and take it!

 

Sometimes we have to go directly to the source, when we listen to idle gossip we develop misconceptions

 

Example of Amy Sub. Took offense – didn’t come to me, complained to several people so I heard about it. I have too much respect to you to respond to you negativity and if my behavior was inapproptiat eI apologize.

 

I’d rather be right, then happy – Humor and Amanda’s raise?

 

But we can’t find our humor if we have cut ourselves off from our thinking brain and we are in that personal survival mode – when we are there all we can think of is how to save ourselves

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Increasing your EI can help change your future

 

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Start with the person in the mirror Our future

If we are to successfully manage the changes we need in our country, our workplace and our lives we need to embrace techniques of EI

Learn the art of compromise!

 

I believe that EI is the answer

 

Perhaps it something we need to explore

=US shortage of workers particularly in technology, teaching,

The continued loss of talent within the workplace

 

Diversity and Dow Corning – conferences how women can come on as board of directors.

 

Bottom line – we need to remember our emotions should be honored, our reactions should be monitored.

 

There is nothing wrong with anger, it is the inappropriate display of anger – the yelling, the name calling, or even the silent treatment. All this does is create fear and anxiety.

 

And we can create the same relaxed and embraced relationship s with our homes, our families in all relationships \\

 

I’m not just talking to leaders here – I am talking to all of us – We all can be aware of how we feel, we all can choose to

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A thought…..

emotions

emotions